Meltdown - Literally

Riddle: What's black and blue and red all over?

Answer: This kid right here.

Friday I had the unfortunate luck of spending all day lounging by the pool. I know, poor me. I toted Lola along for the day, and instead of hanging out in the shade, she decided she wanted to be up on the deck where all the people were. Seeing as it was something like 212 degrees, I wanted to keep her cool, so I thought she'd enjoy a swim...except Lola hates water. Apparently, all water. Even when it is cool and refreshing. So though she's only 30 pounds of pup, she reacted with the force of a Bull Mastiff, and now the front of my legs look like I've been beaten by a very large bat. So there's the black and blue. As for the red...

As a member of Pasty White Girls anonymous, I was diligent about the SPF allllll day...until I fell asleep for 2o minutes. Since no one bothered to wake me up, the back side of my body got a very lobster-esque hue. Hurts like the dickens, too.

I think it's safe to say I'm a hot mess at the moment. Sucks. But at least I've got some color(s)...

Hot, sticky and not-so-sweet...

Sweat + dog hair = disaster.

We've been without AC for four days. The hottest four days of the year. It's been pretty bad, and not only for the Hubbs and I. Poor Lola has been shedding like crazy, and any hair that puffs off of her lands on one of us. The people at Jewel yesterday must have thought I was some sort of lapdog-werewolf hybrid when I ran in for groceries.

Hoping the problem can be fixed soon :(

Worse than getting rained on

The Hubbs and I are parents to an adorable dog, who we admittedly treat more like a child. Her name is Lola (go ahead, you closet Fanilow, start singing, you know you want to), and other than being an affectionate, shedding ball of love, she's also petrified of water. We learned early on to send her to a groomer for baths, to take her out before rain starts to fall, and that a squirt bottle is the best weapon against bad behavior.

A few weeks ago, we took her to a dog park by our house. She ran, she frolicked, she...got peed on pretty extensively by a Great Dane.

Trust me, yellow urine really stands out on a white coat. And the stupid thing kept standing there.

We tried to hose her off in the parking lot with one of the various bottles of water I always have around (not fun) and then took her home to give her a real bath.

I'm hoping the scratches heal eventually.

Double-blogging

So if you are interested in cool jewelry, or if you want to see what I do with my time, check out my other blog, Bejeweled Bliss. It's kind of a work in progress, and I'm still working on my etsy store, but there's a link there.

Anyway, enough shameless promotion for today.

No longer newlyweds

The Hubbs and I celebrated the big 1 year this past weekend. This means several things:
1. If we split, I don't have to return any of my gifts, including my cherry red Kitchen-Aid that has basically become a status symbol/paperweight due to my lack of kitchen prowess.
2. Those of you who owe us wedding presents (and we know who you are) are now officially late and will have a 10 percent fee added to your gift (clock's ticking, people).
3. No one can ooh and ahh at us, asking us how it feels to be married (answer: depending on the day, either freakin' cool or what-have-I-done?).

Happy Anniversary, dollface. Here's to six or seven more:)

Awkward conversation = my specialty

I stopped in to get a hot cup o' joe and my local coffee spot the other day, and while I was chatting with the barista/owner, an older guy sitting at one of the tables compliments my fabulous engagement ring.

Strange Dude: That's a really sparkly ring.
Me: Thanks. I like it.
SD: Looks a lot like the one I gave my girlfriend last week, the one that she gave back to me.
Me: *Giggles nervously*

The conversation spiraled downward from there, and I soon found out things they'd only shared with their therapist (which I also heard all about).

One more reason perhaps I should give up coffee?

Public servant = no ears?

So I'm sitting at work today, hanging out at the reference desk, and all is fairly quiet. Usually, there's the sound of kids shrieking, but it's oddly silent, except for these two moms who are sitting at one of the little mini-tables, loudly discussing the ins and outs of their sex lives. Graphically.

Because even though I'm three feet away, I have no ears.